Bit by bit, inch by inch, nibble by nibble, we acquire the taste of something we know is forbidden until it feels like we can’t say no. We’d rather hide under the table, feasting on filth, then to come back into the light.
We make messes of our lives at times. Sometimes, the mess gets so big that we are at a loss for how to clean it up. We find ourselves overwhelmed by the muck. We’re not alone in this. Moses killed a man. David committed adultery and had his lover’s husband killed. Peter denied Christ. If God wanted shiny, perfect people, he sure did a poor job of choosing his biblical leaders.
God was offering me a glimpse of what he feels for us when we turn away from him in moments of fear, of shame, of self-loathing. The isolation of sin is self imposed. If only we would turn to God, we would see the face of love. Like the father in the story of the prodigal son, he waits and watches for us to come to home. Our capacity to receive his mercy is contingent only on our own willingness to turn and embrace it.